For years, I’ve preached authenticity in marketing. Be yourself! Show up as you are! Brené Brown’s research confirms people feel better when they’re true to themselves. But a new book by Columbia University psychology professor Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic called “Don’t Be Yourself: Why Authenticity is Overrated” challenges this wisdom with compelling research. After spending 18 years in corporate marketing before founding The Repositioning Expert, I’ve always believed B2B marketing works best when the founder is the brand – authentic and trustworthy. However, this book makes excellent points about when to zip it, curtail it, or tweak your authenticity. The paradox? Feeling good about yourself versus being valued by others.
Eight Areas Where Authenticity Can Backfire
Let’s start with political beliefs. Even though I’m in Canada, all my business is in the US, so I understand this is explosive territory. Instead of pointing out what’s not working politically, paint a picture of positive change you’d like to see. On venting raw emotions – yes, it feels authentic when you’re upset, but it looks volatile and unprofessional in marketing. Self-regulation earns trust, even if it feels less authentic. For radical honesty versus tact, I learned this the hard way doing live pitch polishing at conferences. I used to be brutally honest when someone ignored my advice and delivered a generic pitch. Now I soften critiques: “I could be wrong, but in my experience, that approach hasn’t worked.” Diplomacy makes critique valuable rather than offensive.
The Struggle-Sharing Strategy
Sharing personal struggles builds connection, but oversharing damages credibility. My approach uses “Phoenix Rising” stories – I always discuss past failures, what I learned, how I corrected course, and the results achieved. As motivational speaker Danielle LaPorte says: “Never talk about your hell while you’re in it.” For dress and appearance, I keep my Instagram personal (with fitness content and swimsuit shoots from years ago) separate from my LinkedIn marketing. A tracksuit at a conference doesn’t make you special – it looks disrespectful. Instead, conform to business standards but add personal touches like my chunky jewelry or my friend Terry Hall’s distinctive glasses.
Credit, Humor, and Leadership
On taking credit versus modesty, research shows that downplaying achievements and skillfully faking humility earns more trust – even if you were the key ingredient. Talk about the team, coaches, circumstances, and lessons that contributed to success. For humor and sarcasm, restrain yourself unless you’re mocking yourself. Comedian Nate Bargatze was chosen to host the 2025 Emmys precisely because he only does clean, self-deprecating humor (his book “Big Dumb Eyes” references people thinking he’s dumb because of his appearance). Finally, on leadership vulnerability – confessing you’re lost in the current climate makes you look incompetent. Instead, acknowledge limits (“Yes, it’s a trying market”) but focus on direction forward and what’s working.
The Bottom Line
Here’s what matters: money comes through other people. While being authentic makes you feel better, you must make them feel better too. Without losing yourself entirely, maintain perspective on how people perceive you. Strive to be that trusted, safe place where people feel good interacting with you – while keeping elements of yourself within everything you share. The goal isn’t abandoning authenticity; it’s strategic authenticity that serves both your truth and your business growth.
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This is a fascinating paradox. I loved diving into what I call the ‘myths of authenticity’, those common assumptions, cliches, and contradictory expectations we all have about what it truly means to be authentic. You hit on a key insight: “It’s not all about you. It’s about how you make people feel.” This is something I have seen you masterfully coach in various ways for years.