Every time You Say No, You Get To Stay Where You Are

David and I at last week's retreat

David and I at last week’s retreat

I was with my mentor David Neagle this past week and he had so many deep and profound things to say that I had to share them with my community. This man is such a huge influence in the business community that I’m not ashamed to admit that a client actually hired me because I worked with him! Here are some of his valuable insights about business:

Every time you say no to a new opportunity, that’s fine but you get to stay exactly where you are

I can’t tell you how many of us in the helping professions hear ‘no’ from people who are in dire need of what we offer. They say ‘no’ because of their own limiting beliefs and their fears. And just like David says, they don’t get to move one inch beyond where they are at that moment.

What barrier you don’t break, breaks you

3 years ago, when I started my own consulting business, I had the dream of becoming an elite, highly paid coach. The barrier that was in the way was my own money mindset issues around sales and risk. If I didn’t break them by giving my first coach $15K in cold hard cash for a 3 month program, I still would’ve been dreaming.

If I coach you your way, I become your assistant, we both don’t get what we want

Some of my clients are resistant to changing how they’re running their business even if it isn’t getting them the results they hired me to help them get. Which is why I loved how David put it: if I do your business the same way that you have been doing it, then how are we going to get out of that pickle together?

I’m not going to stop selling at your beliefs as to why you can’t do this

People are so married to why they can’t move forward.  They can’t afford it, it might affect their health, their husband won’t love them. If I buy into their story, I’ve already stopped being their coach. I’ve just joined them in their miserable reality.

Excuses are illusions

As David so eloquently says “excuses are crap, they don’t exist. They exist in your mind but they are illusions that keep you from moving forward”

People are addicted to their stories

I’ve often talked about Dr. Dispenza, the neuroscientists who does research on how certain thoughts release certain chemicals in our body which cause specific feelings for us. His research shows that we are addicted to the stories that trigger these chemicals and feelings. To break the cycle, you have to think different thoughts than the ones that your stories are telling you.

Your inner drive must be strong enough to carry you past wishful thinking, disallowing half-hearted efforts

Ever remember starting something with gusto and excitement and dropping it half-way? That’s what most people experience. I talk about the ‘Pit of Despair’ syndrome in this article. If you are able to carry yourself past the difficulties and put in the full effort, that’s the only time you can really see the results.

If you need more money in your business, spend more money in your business, this allows for a universal flow

David says that every time he’s low on cash in his business, he goes out and invests more. This, in turn gives him more fire and motivation to sell more, to produce more and to do more. I’ve found the same thing is true for me. I’ve recently spent $1000 for each minute of a talk I’ll be doing on a very big stage in front of entrepreneurs!

You can use an obstacle to either get you to quit or to show you how to be stronger

I’ve used each failure in my business to learn and to grow. I’ve never stopped or given up. I’ve never complained or felt guilty. I learned and moved on. That’s the reason why I’m growing so fast. You either quit or step over the doo doo that life deals you.

The middle class ask ‘how much will this cost?’. The wealthy ask ‘how much will this make?’

As a person who was firmly entrenched in middle class, I was fascinated by this quote from David. It’s so true that I can’t even begin to separate the thoughts in my head when they arise. I have to literally tamp down the old thought pattern and slap my head to change the soundtrack in my head.

If you can’t raise your prices, it’s because you haven’t allowed yourself to expand into your own vision of yourself

2 years ago,  inexplicably I was able to quadruple my prices overnight when I hired my expensive coach. I thought ‘if he can charge this, why can’t I?”. Of course, that tripled my sales that year but I now think that I was already expanded into that price range. What do you have to do to expand your own vision of yourself into a higher price bracket? Price is the single biggest communicator of how confident you are of your impact.

You can pre-decide how you’ll react to things that will happen in your life

This is a tough one. David had pre-decided how to act in the event of his Mother’s death. My parents are both elderly and I can’t even make myself think of the awful day they won’t be with me, but thanks to this gem of wisdom, I am pushing myself to write down how I’ll act and feel at that trying time. It never even occurred to me that we could pre-plan this.
I hope these gems have been helpful for you and your small business. These thoughts have lifted me up to a different playing field and a new hope for a brighter future for myself, my family and my business.
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About Chala

Chala Dincoy is a Marketing Strategist who helps B2B service providers reposition their marketing message to successfully sell to corporate clients